第45章(2/2)

我好笑道:“是不是人越老就越迷信?”

惊醒的原因是江暮梦见我和他真的一起跳了下去,听说人坠楼接触地面后如果没有立马死亡,那么大脑会有片刻的清醒,在这一刻清醒中,人会感受到全身碎裂的痛苦,感受到血液一点点从身体里流失。

我笑着看他,看了好一会儿,江暮都忍不住疑惑摸自己的脸,我才悠悠道:“嗯,我不会让你跟丢的。”

我并没有立马安慰他,反而敲打他:“所以以后还敢不敢那样做了?你那天真把我吓得不轻。”

莹白的月亮敛去了大半,在寂寥的暗蓝天空里,光芒像是要随时冲破夜幕。明明一只鸟都没有看到,却仍能听见此起彼伏的清亮的叫声,歌颂自由,亦或歌颂又一个黎明。

江暮疑惑的看着我。

江暮说:“可是你经常说话不算话。”

所以和他相遇,才是我最好的归宿。

sp; 我常常想,两个独立的个体如何能够相融。

但江暮不是因为这个吓醒的。

再谈起很久很久的之后,很久后的我们都已步入老年,废旧的大楼也已重新修建,我和他故地重游,看见孩童笑着从滑梯上滑下,夕阳的光不刺眼,像柔软的布铺在地面,两个模糊的影子相靠,我问他,你害怕我的死亡吗?

江暮已经算是个小老头了,听见我这样问他还是依旧警惕,扭头盯着我,质问我:“干嘛?不是才体检吗?你是不是有什么身体问题瞒着我?”

明天,下一个明天,无数个与江暮生活的明天,那些遥远的幻想的未来,像风筝的游线,拽着我缓慢降落。

在由社会□□织的世界里,精神孤独是一种凌迟,这意味着你做任何事情,得不到肯定,任何行为,都不被理解。

人可以享受一时的精神孤独,但假若将这样的状态无限拉长,就会变成慢性服毒,毒性会不知不觉侵蚀生命的长度。

我拉着他起床走到窗边,江暮一脸困惑的照做了,窗户缓缓打开,微凉的蓝光笼罩着整个世间。

“没有的事,不要污蔑我。”

“这你就别管了。我有我自己的安排。”江暮哼了声,一只脚踩住了我的影子,“小老头,反正你到哪我都要跟着你。”

我笑了笑:“没有,只是想告诉你,我挺怕的,我怕你死。”

就好像拥抱住他,才拥抱住真实的我。

“你,你比我晚一些跳,然后,然后——”江暮睁大通红的眼睛,从噩梦中惊醒的第一时间就是确认我的死活,他抓住我的手贴紧脸庞,额角有未落的冷汗,“我亲眼看见血从你眼睛里流出来,你跟我说,说江暮,我好疼——”

我紧紧抱住他,仿佛要将他融进我的血肉里,我说:“江暮,我会陪你走完所有的明天。”

迎来一个似亮似暗的,即将崭新但依然破旧的世界。

江暮哼了声,不想与我掰扯这个。

“……啊?”江暮有些心虚,“我吗?教你什么了?我应该不是那种好为人师的类型吧……”

“对了。”我抬头看向楼顶,问他,“江暮,你知道你是我人生里遇见过最厉害的老师吗?”

“你来了,所以我不会当着你的面了结自己的。”我用指腹擦走了他的冷汗,轻声安慰道,“好了,我不是承诺了会一直陪你的吗?那些都过去了,不需要再去梦见了。”

江暮小声反驳:“这句话不是应该我对你说吗?而且我怎么可能真的什么也不做,就看着你跳下去。”

我打开手机看了眼时间,凌晨五点半,怪不得窗外的鸟叫的那样勤快。

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母体的孕育是新生命的诞生,血肉相融让人类得以在时间的长河中漫步。

江暮看似是一团乱七八糟的火,不过我倒是认为他更像是一湖水。我像一块不服管教的顽石,不顾后果高空坠落,但水接住了我,无论多大的波澜,最后都归于平静。他映照出我本来的样子,或好或坏的,他都见过。

我遥望平静的江面,肩碰着肩,温度从江暮的身体里传染进我的大脑。

我笑眯眯的盯着他,帮他回忆:“我跟你说过的,就是那一天,我领着哭哭啼啼的你回了家,因为跳楼‘未遂’,你像是有点后遗症,晚上总是会惊醒。”

江暮愣了愣,那个岁数了竟然还会露出不好意思的表情,他说:“……我不知道,我只是觉得,假如你觉得死去比活着更有意思,那我就陪你。”又说,“而且你一个人走,在地下迷路了,冷着了怎么办?我得牵着你。”

我无奈道:“但你来了,就没有之后了。”

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