第31章(2/2)

但是戚照清不是十八岁了。

上一次这样之后,戚照清扭身下车去找林恪婧。

戚照清的心离开了胸膛,坠落到不知何处,遇到猛烈撞击,疼的她立刻掉下眼泪。

俞川用指腹抹掉她的眼泪,“我从不讨厌你,更不觉得你是累赘。我喜欢你,喜欢你在我的身边,喜欢和你在一起的每一天。”

俞川反手握住戚照清的手,把它贴到自己的脸颊上。“我从来没有对你说过什么字?”

说出这四个字的时候,俞川心口一跳,疼的她差点说不出话。

戚照清不依不饶:“是吗?那你说的是哪种喜欢?”

“不。你从来没有对我说过‘不’。”戚照清的心悬起来,即将蹦出胸膛的却不知道是喜悦还是痛苦。

还能怎么办呢?俞川伸出双手做出安抚的动作:“清清,你知道的。”

俞川的手垂下来,嘴唇像是涂上胶。

俞川的双手捂住戚照清的眼睛,那股熟悉的淡淡的巴宝莉香水的味道和着香槟酒气一起袭来,戚照清听到俞川柔柔的说:“试错的代价太大了,清清。脚踩到玻璃碎片休息一阵子就会好,但是心呢?一朝被蛇咬,十年怕井绳。如果你踩到玻璃碎片,下一步你还敢不敢走?我不能拿你的一辈子去赌。”

戚照清握住俞川的手放到自己的心口前,“可是这是我自己愿意的。”

“那你……你很早就讨厌我了吗?你很早就觉得,我是个累赘?你很早就想对我说‘不’?”

俞川用指腹按住她的心,用很轻很轻,轻到几乎听不见的声音说:“可是我不愿意。”

俞川轻轻抚摸着戚照清的脸,“你长大了。”

戚照清一拳头打在棉花,虚假的笑脸面具裂出一条缝来,底下藏着愠怒:“你要是不高兴就直接告诉我,为什么要藏着不肯说?”

俞川用鼻尖蹭一蹭戚照清的鼻尖,不置可否。

戚照清觉得自己长大。

戚照清便停下脚步,深吸一口之后把自己调整到心平气和的状态,试图和俞川沟通:“俞川我觉得你喜欢我呢。但是我不明白你不肯承认的原因。”

戚照清的双手捧住俞川的手,像是在托举圣物,置于自己的胸前。

月光下,俞川浅棕色的瞳仁与戚照清黑色的瞳仁相对,彼此眼中都只有对方。

具体表现在她听懂了俞川的话外音。

俞川握着的戚照清的手从自己的脸上又贴到她的脸上。

俞川笑着叹了一口气。戚照清觉得俞川脸上的面具终于碎裂出一条缝,露出潜藏的爱意和无奈。

“可是我想听你亲口说。”戚照清又想要上前,但是被俞川的手挡住。“你是哪种喜欢我?”

“我没有不承认。我是喜欢你。”俞川收回手,靠到窗边。

戚照清的鼻尖贴住俞川的鼻尖,她用俞川从前安慰她的语气对俞川说:“你看,我走过来了,也没有踩到玻璃碎片。我是安全的,你也会是安全的。”

俞川嘴唇上的胶水等到戚照清这句话落下之后才失灵:“说出口的话是要能做到的。而在感情上,我不能保证很多事情。这就像我不能保证你靠近一步会不会踩到地毯里的玻璃碎片,所以不让你走过来一样。”

“我没有啊。”俞川的面具还是完好的,她保留着成人虚假客套的微笑,“我没有不高兴,也没有藏着。”

俞川明白她的执着,可是俞川有自己的忧虑。

她的眉头拧起一点点,又走上前小半步,“试错的前提是要尝试。和我试一试好不好?俞川,和我试一试。”

“我不明白。”戚照清摇摇头,“说出来很难吗?”

戚照清捏住俞川的手指,往前迈了一大步,几乎和俞川要亲到一起。

她温吞的笑:“真不愧是心理咨询师,观察的真仔细呢。”

她眯起眼睛来盯着俞川看,“我不明白你为什么每次到这个时候就不肯说。”

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但是俞川没有停。

她太执着。

她没有藏住眼底的爱意,也没有藏住自己的动摇和挣扎。

俞川的面具碎了。

戚照清走近一步,俞川伸手挡在她身前,“小心玻璃碎片。”

不管发生什么都不能够阻挡俞川说出接下来的话:“你不像小时候那么脆弱,不像小时候那么无助。现在的你很厉害,很强大。所以清清,我可以对你说‘不’了。”

抬眼去看戚照清拨弄头发。

因此戚照清说:“可是我不走一步,不尝试踩一脚,就永远不会知道下一步到底会不会踩到玻璃碎片上。”

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