第97章(2/2)

“盛哥,你等我说完。我……我见过盛鱼将整片大海搅成血水的样子。”凌予殊说,“你怕我看到的,就是这样的场景吧?所以那只属于一个不存在的时间缝隙里,根本不算发生过。可是我告诉你,我看到那样的地狱一样的大海,我没有害怕,我当时只觉得……心疼。”

凌予殊就打断了他:“我知道你想说什么。你想说,我认识的不是真的你,是你在我面前刻意表现出的样子,可是盛哥,我走过七个世界,见过了盛衍他们每一个人。你说他们聚集了你心中所有的黑暗,我见过了,我告诉你,我只觉得,这算什么黑暗。

“盛哥,不是我改变了他们,是他们本来就很好。是你本来就很好。你……你才是我见过的最好的人。”

凌予殊说:“盛哥,你把自己囚禁在回忆里,囚禁了太久。不要再在过去徘徊,是时候,往前走了。

他深吸口气,看着盛修止,强忍着眼泪,说完了最后的话:“盛哥,我看过你的日记,我走过你的记忆长廊,我就是想告诉你,你特别特别好。”

“是你的心,你好像,每时每刻都是那样的。”

他们望着彼此。

“我更希望,你的记忆长廊里,也都是这些,而不是什么133次的死亡。盛哥,你不能抓着那些过去不放手,任由它们折磨你。”

说完了这句话,他再控制不住,泪水汹涌地往下掉。

“予殊!”盛修止打断他,几乎是失控地抱住了他。他抱得太紧了,紧到凌予殊觉得好像就要不能呼吸,“予殊,我信的,我相信。”他说。他在哭。

盛修止的唇颤动了两下。

喉咙堵得要命,鼻子无比酸涩,他太想哭了。

“我好心疼鱼鱼啊。然后我觉得,那个尾巴上有几十几百道伤口,脸上都是血污,在痛苦挣扎着的人,也是你。”

nbsp; 他看起来画得很入迷,很开心。

“盛哥,你看着我,”他说,“如果你觉得我的爱浅薄,易变,廉价,肤浅,那么我走了两遍七个世界,我又走到你面前,还不够证明我真的爱你吗?我见过所有的你了,再黑暗再不堪的都见过,我仍然爱你,还不够证明我的爱不是假的吗?还,还是不够吗?”

盛修止:“予殊——”

“小时候的你过得很不好,但是你不能永远在那里陪他,你要对他说,小朋友,你辛苦了,活下来,很辛苦,努力长大,也很辛苦。你要对他说,你已经很棒了,现在,就交给我,轮到我继续往前走了。

“只是相信,也不够。盛哥,我要你为了我,往前走。”凌予殊说。他安抚地拍了几下盛修止的肩膀,然后挣脱了这个怀抱,伸手擦干了盛修止脸上的泪。

“我就在想,我要是早点找到鱼鱼就好了。我要是……我要是早点找到你就好了。”

很多事他都不记得了,也觉得那不算什么,小事而已。可是直到站在这长廊里,他才知道,原来哪怕是他给出的一小块蛋糕,都有被凌予殊放在记忆里,妥帖地珍藏。

凌予殊伸出双手,捧在胸前:“盛哥,你说‘我要怎样我们就怎样’,不是这样的。你不能总把选择权放在别人手里,你要自己做选择。”

“把那个小孩子安置好吧,然后,成为你自己。”

“你不是他们说的讨人厌的人,你很好。你不是他们说的没人爱的人,我爱你。”

他对凌予殊的爱已经出自本能。

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“他们都是错的,你没有错。”

“你拿到了权柄,有了力量之后,也不曾滥用,没有发泄情绪,肆意报复。你去拯救那些逐渐黯淡消亡的小世界,你甚至给了那些猫猫狗狗又一次生命。

盛修止想上前抱他,想擦他的眼泪,他摇摇头。

他说到这里,几近哽咽。

凌予殊道:“我的记忆里,都是这样的你。从你出现之后,你就已经侵入到我的生活里面,我所有熟视无睹的日常生活里,都有你的存在,根本剥离不开。

“本来你……本来你做出任何事来,都是可能的。”

凌予殊说:“盛哥,这才是我的记忆,这才是我认识的你。如果这样的你都不算是一个好丈夫,那要什么样的人才是?”

“之前你妈妈虐待你,不是你不乖,不是你讨人厌,是她的问题。她是个疯子,她是错的。那些嘲讽你的佣人,冷暴力你的老师,从你的痛苦中取乐的人,他们都是错的。”

“盛衍再嫉妒,没真的因为嫉妒心去害过任何人。子忱经历了那么多悲惨的事,他最愤怒的时候也没大开杀戒。盛川看穿了一切,他有太多机会把我留在身边,做到真正的‘贪婪’,他没有,哪怕我又给了他一次选择机会,他依然没有。盛危以为我欺骗他,可是他最生气最恨我的时候,也没有把我怎么样。

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