06寄青萍(2/3)

“嗯……”盼青本想直接告诉他原因,但开口还是换成了一句:“她生前留下了很多书信一类的字,有一部分在你妈妈的手中。”“阿青,我相信你。”“我已经很久没有见到我的奶奶了,无论生前死后,什么都会离开,就像时间不会停留,我们一直在湮灭里相逢。”“那我希望阿青不要走。”这是许长菱所不知道的盼青的过往,真假也好、荒唐也罢,他听到了他从来不知道的事,她好像带他来到了死生门,靠近了他的思念。而她的离开比任何人的离开都要透彻,他希望她不要走,她的安抚能够带给他更多的坚韧与遮藏。“神也眷顾你。很长一段时间,没有神再降临到我的身上,本身我和它的缘分就浅,是我执意要做。许长菱,你会得到你想要的结果的。”许长菱听见盼青叫了他的名字,没有再像从前一样感到生气而转身,反而想哭得汹涌,她的声音那么轻,却每一句都落在了他的心上,业动心风。“今晚过后,就将我刚才说的话忘记。”盼青只是斗胆,但她确实想叫他的名字,斟酌也找不到更好的代替,而她从来没有对外说过这样的事情,毕竟她并不以此为生。只有她曾辞职回家,跑到乡下学习纸扎时,会帮村子里的人看事,大多来问的是一些突然严重、不见好转的病,谁也说不准什么时候缠上的一些孤魂野魄,依靠请香问神杀鸡就能够送走了;也会有假期时,遇到大学生来问各种考试成绩和工作发展,一段又一段的唱词唱下来,只能赚个少则一袋米、多则百块的零用。她也怕多说多错,许长菱会觉得她是个封建迷信的骗子,不过她也认了,没有什么样的世事是能够偏听、尽信的。哪怕他现在这样无助,像是救命稻草地抓住她,说他相信自己,她都只会当做是一时的意气。盼青轻轻推开许长菱,抬头看向他,伸手为他擦掉了眼泪,又拿过他手中的眼镜为他戴上,接着为他抚平衬衫的褶皱、理直襟前的领带。许长菱任由盼青为他整理,秋夜的风吹了好几遍,不多的眼泪已经无踪,目光变得眷恋,不肯离开盼青一眼。“我希望主人永远意气风发。”“好。”许长菱也为盼青理过吹乱鬓边的发,重新为她穿上外套,牵过她的手带她离开了这座旧梦园林。看起来像是奔逃地,彼此穿过了另一边的杯酒声中,有人问起、有人佯言……晚风吹

目光停留在许长菱的背影上,久久不息。而许长菱手中的香快燃尽了,香屑落在他手上也不拨掉,他又重新点了三支插入香炉里才转身离开。正好陈季明的助理过来,告诉陈季明可以开饭了,陈季明点点头笑迎上去,许长菱却神情冰冷,看向对方的眼中多有凛冽,陈季明的那一抹笑瞬间僵在了面上。“这是什么时候的事?”谁都没有想到,许长菱会这么问。他去年回国,来到这里找过许多次江心,但江心给他发消息说,让许长菱再等等,等她恢复得再好一些。后来再去,是因为江心阿姨不回消息了,来迎接他的陈季明告诉他,江心不肯见人,让他下次再来,仍旧是那一句话,许长菱忍不住找朱贞郁问了情况,朱贞郁却也说,等江心阿姨完完全全好了再去。那时起,他就觉得江心阿姨是不是出了什么事,但实在不愿揣测。如今听到陈季明的回答,今年春天,原来那么近,仅仅一个春夏。谢思厢与江心的往来浅淡,当时她从父母口中得知消息时,也不过叹息。但面对许长菱,她说不出什么“节哀顺变”的话,对人去楼空的思念都只剩下了回忆,总觉得太残忍。许长菱没有再说什么,只是经过很长的沉默后才开口:“我先走了。”就离开了。陈季明没有预料到许长菱会有这么大的反应,但想他其实还是个小孩子,很多事情一开始都无法接受。他正了正神色,还是跟上去邀请他一起去吃饭。虽然许鸣远和朱贞郁不来,但让许长菱出席,多少面上也会生光。“有人在等我。”陈季明听见这句话,才停下脚步,谢思厢也微微一怔,还是跟到他身边小声说了一句:“哥哥,我送送你吧。”两人走到刚才的门外,就遇到了谢思厢迟来的父母,许长菱只是叫了声好,无心再周旋,任那寒暄掉地。盼青就在一旁的凉亭里等待许长菱回来,她倚在栏杆上,不觉秋凉地抱住一只手臂,出神地凝看亭外的浮枝秋水,柳树枯黄衰落,幸有明月照拂。“盼青。”许长菱的出现,比盼青想得还要快。她如梦初醒般地回过头,只有月光照夜的晦明下,许长菱已走到她身边,脱下外套披上了她的身,带着暖香的温热渡去她的凉冷,她慌乱地低下头,却看见许长菱的手臂上有香灰烫伤的痕迹,她不由抓住他的一只手担心地问:“疼吗?”而许长菱没有收回手,却换成了他慌乱起来,随时害怕下一刻控制不住自己的情绪而将倾。“我想抱你。”“好。”许长菱揽过盼青完完全全地抱入怀中,盼青贴在他胸口,听着心跳声安抚地轻拍他的背。虽然不知道发生了什么,但她能感受到许长菱的情绪低落甚至哀伤。此间沉静夜长,唯有晚风经过,远处的人语朦胧,如同他们门外的一场梦影。“我不知道你会不会信,我曾为了见到我的奶奶,接受了家里的降神。我能看见,六个月前,她在医院自杀了,走时很伤心,造成她苦难的不止一个人。”盼青说完,睁开眼睛,继而身上的力道收得更紧了,快要将她喘不过气。许长菱摘下眼镜,埋首在盼青的肩头无声流泪。“你还要听吗?”

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