最难懂的女人心（53）(2/3)

已经有7天没有出去了，慢慢的也就习惯了。待在房间里做做瑜伽，可以让

不在家里，不在办公室，不在野外，不和别的女人一起。这些所谓的原则只能是

现在这样讨厌自己的这副皮囊。众人的目光让我很不自在，我适合一个人待在一

现在想来，其实我和浩然最大的问题并不是许强。即使没有许强和潘雨晴，

情。和浩然在一起这么多年了，感情可能不再那样的强烈和刺激了。曾经我觉得

几乎对我不闻不问。慢慢的，我也就自暴自弃了。习以为常之后，内心的自责越

个无人的角落，别人的目光都会让我浑身不自在——

都已经不在了，自己也没有一儿半女，孑然一身。如果婚姻真的到了尽头，就让

这几天无聊的人越来越多，让我本来就烦乱的内心更加不平了。从来没有像

种下的苦果只能自己吃下去。所幸父母

迷，我的沦陷，整个事情都是许强和潘雨晴精心设计好的。而这所有的一切，都

地~址~发~布~页~：、2·u·2·u·2·u、

许所有的错误都是因为我。也许吧，我也不知道。

是为了我，更确切的说，是我的身子。但是知道了又能怎样呢？都是成年人的游

姻问题出在哪里？也许我们从一开始就是一个错误，也许我和浩然并不合适，也

心中有种不好的预感。他为什么这么强烈的想要要和我联系，难道他还幻想着我

最近许强的消息越来越多了，越来越过分，甚至有种狗急跳墙的感觉，让我

戏，说破了又能如何。在这几年里，他自始至终都没有强迫过我做什么，所以对

是不能接受的事。但经历了这么多才慢慢发现，这种感情看似变淡，但底蕴更深

我们的婚姻也会出现危机，只是出现的时间和形式不同而已。到底我和浩然的婚

他，我是真的恨不起来。要怪，就只能怪自己吧。我不知道浩然知道我对许强的

内心越来越宁静，对浩然的思念越来越强烈。都说时间长了爱情会转变成亲

来越少，肉体的享受越来越多。我只能在内心给自己设定几个原则，不主动找他，

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笑着会哭，心里特别酸。我和他还有未来吗？如果没有，这可能是我这辈子最

意味更长。最近一个人总是发呆，想着俩人恋爱时的傻事，想着想着会笑，笑着

总之，一切的一切都已经发生。自己

和浩然的感情已经淡了，两人在一起更多的是凑合过日子，哪一天真的分开也不

然会发现，每次都小心翼翼。但我慢慢发现，浩然并不会将注意力放在我身上，

相对于他其他的那些女人，也只是给自己不安的内心找的一些借口和慰藉罢了。

我的心情很平静。幸好窗户外就是洱海，让我觉得它就在自己身边，并没有远离。

我的人生路也到尽头吧——

来这里已经第38天了，离开家也快2个月了。

这几年走下来，内心也痛苦过，挣扎过，煎熬过，自责过。最开始总担心浩

态度会是什么心情，可能会对我更加失望吧。但这些确实是我的真心话。

会再和他有牵扯吗？不回音就是最好的回音，他为什么还不明白——

他回来的越来越晚、越来越少，每次回来更像是完成任务，吃饭、洗澡、睡觉，

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